New Year's Revolution

I am facing a clean page, a clean slate, a new year. I realize the end of the year is an arbitrary thing and that the calendar is mankind’s invention. Yet I think the year “ends” for a reason and that reason is grace. Humans need a new beginning. We need a fresh start, another chance, hope.

I am a resolutionist. You read that right -- a resolution-ist. Each year I make resolutions and I use them as a springboard to real and lasting change. Perhaps you could call me a revolutionist, because what I am going for is a revolution in my life.

I think resolutions, in general, are under-appreciated. Most people do not realize the innovative power of the fresh page. Simply promising to do things differently or be different is, of course, not enough. A successful revolution requires a leader, a plan, and a change in consciousness. In order to have a successful revolution, I have to be willing to be a leader in my own life.

It seems obvious, doesn’t it? And yet becoming a leader in one’s own life is indeed a revolutionary step. It means that we can no longer blame our parents, our spouse, our past or fate for our unhappiness or lack of success. It means that I and I alone am responsible for building the life I want to live and creating the world in which I want to live it. It sounds like blasphemy, doesn’t it?

I am not suggesting that God does not have a place in my life. Not at all. I’m suggesting that God is not responsible for my unhappiness which could, indeed, be called unfaithfulness. We have shared responsibility-- co-authorship-- if you will. God is responsible for things in God’s realm, and I am responsible for things in my realm. And peace of mind certainly lies in knowing which is which.

Hence, I am once again a resolutionist. Things will change in my life once more, and I will once again be the author of that change, God – and I – willing.

This year I will use a pattern I found some time ago, the six-word resolution. I will make a resolution in each of six areas of my life: (1) Health and Body,(2) Education and Spiritual Growth, (3) Vocation/Work, (4) Relationships, (5) Money and Material Possessions, and (6) Service. Step Two of my private revolution is to choose specific actions for creating the change and checkpoints for accountability. The reason many resolutions fail is because most people do not take the time for Step Two. Of course Step Three is living it out –putting my revolution where my mouth is -- and making reasonable adjustments as I go.

Here are my resolutions for 2011; may they inspire you to map out your own New Year’s Revolution!

• Health and Body: Get to my goal weight; maintain.
• Education and Spiritual growth: Daily writing and reflection; more collaboration
• Work/Vocation: Implement a marketing plan for Coaching
• Relationships: Play often, laugh lots, love more
• Money and Material Possessions: Cull out, organize; acquire and waste less
• Service: More time and attention to fostering

Work and Our Natures

Today, I re-read one of my early blog posts, "The Nature of Work." I can't help looking at the synchronicity; I posted that at the very time I realized the full extent of the driven-ness that seemed such an inherent part of my personality. I set out on a course to started to systematically disassemble it. Clearly this dismantling is an ongoing process and yet one in which I can see definite change.

My musings about work back then were the beginnings of that journey; I was coming to the realization the the products of my work are more intangible than I grew up expecting them to be. I have yet to produce the great American novel or a fine painting. I don't have a single invention, patent nor any goods to show. I realized many years ago that I am unlikely to be "famous." Nonetheless, imaginary judges critique every word and action; and somehow I often fall short.

Like many of you, I was brought up by hard-working parents who set a good example of responsibility and productivity. Fair enough. At age 51, however, I think I can hardly blame them for any compunction toward proving myself that lingers on today. I think it is in our natures to make work tower in importance and define us -- but I don't think the fact that's it natural means it has to be that way! Lice are natural too -- but I don't want 'em!

These days, my major occupation is "mama." And yet, I can still quite easily get driven. So it turns out, after all these years, what I have always suspected is actually true -- it's not the job causing me stress, it's me!

I know that what is required is radical truth telling. What life is demanding of me is that I determine what is truly of value and rewrite the code for that scrolling critique that runs my internal Twitter status. I am doing some self-remembering lately. I recommend it!

Here are some things you can do to dismantle the driven-ness in you:

- Several times each day (set an alarm) pause to take a couple of deep breaths and take a look around. Refocus your life to the present.
- Write down the lies you are telling yourself (i.e., "I have to be perfect," "I have to get a promotion"); it's safe to assume that if it starts with "I have to . . ." it bears examining.
- Write down a "being" goal each day; we are all pretty good at making to-do lists, how about a "to be" list?

These things are pulling the plug on the stress for me; I am living that "bright life" more often these days. Let me know how it goes for you!


The very beating of your heart has meaning and purpose.

Your actions have value far greater than silver or gold.

Your life... and what you do with it today...matters forever.
Andy Andrews

Keeping Your Head Above Water

The other day someone said to me, "I'm just focused on keeping my head above water." We've all been there: the work is piled up, the stress accumulates, the debts mount up and suddenly we slip into survival mode.

"I'm just keeping my head above water." The statement struck me.
As someone who's spent a lot of time in the pool lately, I can tell you unequivocally that if you are keeping your head above water, you are not swimming.

Swimming is getting your face wet; it's letting the water hold your weight; it's trusting your body and your learning and Life or God or -- if you will -- fate. It's choosing to propel yourself forward. It's momentum. It's the opposite of standing still. Whether you are choosing to go with the current or go against it, you are taking an active part in changing your situation.

It's a choice every day - every hour - every minute: Will I swim -- focusing my energies on where I want to go -- or will I tread water and try to survive? Fair enough, sometimes I may need to check the depth of the water I'm in or get some instruction or special equipment. But in the end, it's really just a straightforward choice backed up by action. So what will it be, keeping your "head above water" or swimming?

Come on in, the water's fine!

The Nature of Work

I have been thinking about the nature of work and -- more specifically -- the nature of my work versus that of my forebears. My work consists of three basic activities: Talking, thinking/creating, and recording my thoughts (mostly in writing).

Contrast that with the work of my progenitors. I only have to skip one generation to find a far different type of work. One of my grandfathers ran a grain warehouse. His job was more than managing employees and keeping records; it involved a fair mix of manual labor, too. At home, he had a good-sized garden, kept chickens, and had at least one milk cow. He was no different from nearly everyone he knew; regardless of their day job, their second job was usually feeding their family. And only a generation or two ahead of him, their was no warehouse or man to run it; there were only frontiersmen taming the prairies and fighting nature.

Fathers trained their sons to manage the plow, steady the reins, trim the horses feet, gather the wheat and even to read the weather. They had coaches, didn't they? Though some were undoubtedly more effective than others.

Women were brought along the same way. My grandma learned to cook at the wood stove of her mother. She learned to darn socks and tend young plants. At her mama's knee she also learned to milk cows, butcher chickens, build a fire and scare off wildlife. Her cooking became her livelihood on several occasions and she was coached and trained all along the way.

Things have changed a lot in a couple of generations. We live in a culture where the vast majority of work is not done with our hands, it's done with our heads and -- if we're lucky -- with our hearts. Humankind has been creating results with dexterous limbs and ingenuity since the beginning of time. But never have so many humans spent so much of their time thinking and creating. Indeed, you might say it's a developing skill set. In addition, what we are learning about the human brain is, well, mind boggling! (That will be the topic of some future posts).

Here's where coaching and training come in; coaching and training are directed toward increasing creativity and decreasing stress responses. You, a human, are then able to act thoughtfully more often and instinctively less often. And the net result is that you get more of what you want in your life more of the time. Ahhhhh.