Cross-Purposes and True Intention

 I'm on day 5 of a journey called a 10-day Family Recharge.  Whatever your job is, try to imagine that a kind, creative soul came in and said, basically, "Just for today, what if you tried this?  Here is some inspiration.  Here is some encouragement.  Here is some support."  Now imagine that tomorrow, they come back in with something else, presented again as an offering, open handed, open heartedly.  And you can simply not resist because the leadership is so inviting and non-demanding.  This is my experience of the re-charge so far.  It has been a warm place to walk into.  

 

Yet, today, I awakened quite tired and full of stress.  Just like an advanced course, somewhere mid-way, I am starting to take stock.  I am being hard on myself for not being 100% the person 0r wife or parent I want to be. I am having trouble seeing the work I am doing and that my intention is what shines through even when I am not meeting all my goals.  I am having trouble seeing past the not so successful potty training, the Mount Laundry, the messy rooms; I can't see the forest for the trees.

So I lulled myself (almost) to sleep.  I was literally about to take a nap when I thought, "Well, I'll just check my email first."  When I did, I saw this amazing video and I had an epiphany. 

My house is not always messy.  It's not as if people throw something on the floor and I never pick it up.  It's an evolution.  The kitchen is clean every day -- sometimes two or three times!  But we live there.  We cook all our meals at home - our kitchen is the heart of our family; 6 people are in this house 24 hours a day, and 7 live here for 14.  It's not a realistic "want."

I am getting what I wanted from the re-charge.  I am reconnecting with my family in new and profound ways.  I am seeing myself and each member of the family with new eyes.  I feel more relaxed and less worried.  I wanted to re-create our life together and that is happening, completely.

To be completely honest, the intention I had "on paper" for the re-charge was not my true intention.  My true intention was to become something like super-mom.  I can see that now.  I knew what I needed was an "easing into" my true motherhood -- my genuine love of children and to let that joy and love out -- but I still subconsciously thought I should want something more.  Talk about cross-purposes!

Whew.  I feel it easing in me already.  And I am already laughing at myself.  If my old buddy Will Pyke were reading this, it would crack him up too.  It's Seven Days all over again.  Oh my gosh.  I can only stand about 3 days of trusting myself and then I have to have a little breakdown.  

 

My true purpose is to love my family with my whole heart and to love myself in the process.  I can move toward a more conscious living space with them.  It's not for me to do; it's for us to do to the best of our abilities and without forsaking what truly matters:  That each and every one of us has the chance grow into the person we are created to be.  One day all the children will be grown and my house will be clean.  And then it will be time for a new purpose.    

 

A wise man named Richard Perry once said, "God has not given me a single moment of control, but every moment of choice!"  I'm over it now.  I really am.  In the snap of a fingers, I can change my perspective. 

 

Thanks be to God.  And me.  and Annie.  and Erin.  And you, too, Will Pyke, wherever you are!  Blessings on you all.

Taking a Deep Breath

Day 3 of our 10 day Family Re-Charge is already passing; the youngest are in bed so I will take the opportunity to reflect.  Some time ago I made a commitment not to have my laptop between my children and me; but the challenge for me is not getting driven about all there is to do around me. There is -- quite literally -- always one more load of clothes, things on the counters, another load of dishes, floors to maintain, another meal to prepare, one more thing.   I am good about doing stuff with the kids in the mornings but after naptime, I ramp up! 

I don't know if I have mentioned it but on Friday, I withdrew my oldest daughter (10th grade) from school and have brought her home to school again.  Today we have re-instituted our afternoon tea time; it fell by the wayside a few months back and we are picking it back up.  I sit with any of the kids who want to sit at the table and we have tea (o la leche o el agua).  Usually we have some nuts and a sweet of some kind or bits of cheese and crackers; the main thing is, it's a great time to reconnect. [We older girls drink from antique tea cups passed down on my hubby's side.] I just sip my tea and chat with the children and it eases something in me.  It's a deep breath.  I am able to fix supper and enjoy the time in the kitchen;  the kids have had my full attention so they are able to do something else whilst I cook.

When Paul gets home, everyone is in a calmer state.  We enjoy our evening meal so much more -- it's as if you can taste the peacefulness in it.  And because the cooking and eating goes more smoothly, it seems as if I am able to whistle through bedtime and then truly enjoy the evening and reconnecting with Paul.  I don't feel so stretched.   I don't think he knows why this is, but I am quite certain he knows when we've not had our tea time because something is just not sitting right.

My other "answer" - if you will -to the re-charge questions is that I have carved out a half hour between getting my middle child on the bus and waking the others in which I can have a devotional period.  It has taken some work to achieve this time;  I frequently get to say "no, thank you" to requests for waking someone or other during this period.  This is when I do my reflecting on my spiritual state and set my compass for the day ahead.  At the very end of this time, I check my calendar for the day. 

So I have the beginning "regulator" set and the late afternoon re-set; I lack something before bed  to book-end the day.  I have recently begun a practice of oil cleaning my face; I have decided  to give myself a five minute facial massage each evening and go to bed with a soft, clean face to welcome the night's dreams.  I hold so much stress in my face; now I shall be sending it down the drain!

So appreciating the work for each day, Erin Barrette Goodman.  Muchas gracias!

Recharging our Batteries

Life in a household of seven is gratifying, exciting, fun, challenging, fulfilling, evoking, inspiring  . . . and busy.  In many ways, I have "found my feet" since the huge change in our family almost 2 years ago.  In other ways, I am still floundering.

I remember the "magic" when Pepper and Sunshine were the little ones;  I don't think that we have really recaptured that magic with The Littles.  I want it for them and I want it for the "bigs" and I want it for Dear Hubby and I really, really want it for me.  So often it seems like . . . well . . . work. 

I want to recapture the essence of who we are in the midst of all the logistics of life in a big family.  Just as I have been making incremental adjustments to my days in order to accommodate this big "want," I stumbled on The 10-Day Family Re-Charge.  I am joining with an eclectic group of 200 parents to hit the "reset" button on our family life.

I am looking forward to spending time with my six nearest and dearest to take a collective deep breath!  Stay tuned!