Thursday, September 30, 2010


I am of the Popeye watching, spinach eating generation. It was canned spinach too, people! Popeye was into affirmations long before the rest of the world caught on. His trademark affirmation: "Yuck, yuck, yuck --- I am what I am!"

That's me, folks. I am what I am. I am a mom, currently of 5. I am a wife. I am an excellent cook. I'm a good housekeepr and enjoy making a home, but have largely given up on keeping things really picked up given that I am outnumbered 7 to 1 (if you count the dog).

I can act crabby and driven and bossy at times. I am not what I do or produce, though I frequently forget that. I have a big heart. I am challenged by saying, "No." I truly want the best for everyone. I have graying hair and 35 pounds of excess weight. I look younger than I am (51) and have lost 45 pounds in the last year. I am an optimist and not given to jealousy. I have an occasional conniving drama, not my prettiest side. I like the pleasing drama better. I am more relaxed than I used to be and still could afford to ease up, especially on myself!

At this moment, I am ignoring 3 little kids who are awake because they haven't technically said, "Mommy" yet -- although I will likely be sorry if I ignore them much longer!

My purpose is to live in the present but I spend some time leaning toward the future. I am a skilled coach and an even better friend. I am complex but love simplicity; I am soulful, faithful, joyful and musical.

I am made of light . . .
and bird-song . . .
and hope.

And that is only a part of the picture. I awoke this morning early to make sourdough biscuits and connect with an English friend. When the alarm went off, my first thought --aside from "what is that terrible noise?"-- was, "I am who I am."

I think it is good for each of us to remember this from time to time. Please write me and tell me who YOU are! I truly want to know.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


Note: I am double-posting this in my Bright Weight Loss blog. I am letting you know in case you are a reader of both!

As I write, the smell of Swiss Steak slowly simmering in the crock pot is wafting through the house. I have been on a cooking jag. In the past 3 days, I have cooked $600 worth of food and put it in the freezer for my family.

Cooking is my creative outlet -- some folks paint, I cook! Of course, it's not just about me. I really want to know what my loved ones are putting in their mouths.

It's not only that I wonder what price we will eventually pay for all these chemical cocktails we consume, but also because of how that manufactured food affects our brains. We are created to respond to the most striking impetus so that we can pay attention to what truly matters and thus prioritize that the mammoth or saber-toothed tigers chasing us is more urgent than how absolutely beautiful the sunrise is. Food manufacturers trade on that impulse by using chemicals to create extra-palatable foods and before we know it, we're hooked. They cry out to us, "pay attention" and unless we are very disciplined, we do. In addition, highly processed -- aka manufactured -- foods speed through our digestive system, so our "full" sensors don't go off and we keep eating long after we've consumed enough calories. With processed foods being such a major part of most contemporary Western diets, our mind-body connection is in imminent peril.

Processed foods and fast food were not part of my childhood and as a young adult, I did not realize the dangers. I did not know that a steady diet of these foods would skew my sensory perceptions of food. I don't want my girls or my young foster kids to be hooked on these food substitutes. I reason that if I am able to keep them mostly off the road of manufactured foods, maybe it won't become a super-highway. Maybe if they aware of the dangers, as I was not, they will choose a more wholesome and health-some route.

I also want them to have the joy of eating! I want them to know the crispness of fresh vegetables and the depth of flavor in olive oil. I want them to have to chew their steak and to know the natural sweetness of milk and of bread. I want them to have the sense of "enough" that I had as a youngster. But more, I want them to know the joy of anticipation, of smelling a meal for an hour as it is prepared, and to enjoy its unfolding at the table. I want them to have "slow food;" food that is lovingly and thoughtfully created and then enjoyed with conversation and reflection.

So I cook. And with seven people currently in the house, I cook . . . and cook some more. And in the process of creation, I find that I am re-created. Cooking is a sensual experience. The fragrance of fresh herbs and sauteing vegetables is intoxicating. Chopping and mincing is meditative - it nurtures in me some ancient inner longing. Tending a pot of simmering, thickening sauce is prayer. As each dish is parceled, wrapped and frozen, it is filled not only with a short list of whole foods (every ingredient of which I can pronounce and identify), but also with hope and with love. It's me, being faithful.

The point of all this is to inspire you, dear reader, to this week be faithful. Do whatever it is that makes the most of you -- that nurtures your inner longing -- that fulfills and sews together whatever is becoming fragmented in you. It doesn't matter if a masterpiece is created or merely table scraps. What is truly created endures -- regardless of how long the artifact lasts.

PS - Just in case you want to know, here's what I created this week (all in 8 portions per package):

3 Pasta e Fagioli Soup
3 Marinated Flank Steak
3 Flank Steak Fajitas with Artichoke Chick-Pea Hummus, Sweet and Spicy Salsa, and Steak-Sauce
4 Chicken Cacciatore
4 Taco meat
4 Sausage gravy (occasional special breakfast for the kids)
Everta's Sourdough Starter for pancakes, biscuits and breads
4 Red Beans, Cajun style
3 Nancy Lee's Chicken Pie
4 Swiss Steak
3 Refried Beans
Molases Cookie dough - enough for 12 dozen

To these I just add some fresh veggies, fresh fruit and memories! Mangia, mangia!