A Year for Vision and Celebration

I had the most lovely dream last night. Or I should say, I had an amazing dream THIS night as it's 2:00 in the morning! I was working with a group to create a Christmas display in a community. In my dream, it was Lockhart, TX, probably because I drove through their square and past their gorgeous old courthouse today.

We were working as a group to create various pieces of this immense and sprawling display. It was a true extravaganza! As we would wind down in one area, a new idea would emerge and all would pitch in to bring that vision to fruition, using the talents and know-how of the group and gathering materials from what was on hand. And so we went from area to area, each more lovely than the next, more interactive, more alive, somehow.

At the last, we decided to work on a swing that would lower a lovely lady slowly to the ground. As as she alighted, something in the display was illuminated. It was my mentor, Sue Oldham, now many years gone. Sue was a fiercely loyal, loving and tough, athletic woman, toughest on herself, and I was mesmerized by this side of her, so soft and radiant and light. 

 We worked and worked on this and kept trying to overcome structural problems and various issues to make it work, because it was "my baby" and I do not like to give up. Finally it was "curtain time" and people were about to walk through and the person acting as MC and construction boss, called it and took that bit out of the display, mainly for safety reasons. It was one of my trainers, Dr. Richard Perry. So we moved away the pulleys and let down our "angel" and  re-secured the tent to make sure it was all sound. 

 Richard then told me, "Slow down; rest now and take in your creation!" Perhaps uncharacteristically, I was able to do exactly that. I remember fleeing for a minute to quiet down the mind-talk and accept reality. I was very quickly able to move to acceptance and see it all as it was and to truly celebrate what we had created. 

As I awoke, the message was loud and clear to me. There has to be a time in which we stop making "improvements" and we embrace our efforts (and ourselves.)  Sometimes, our best, really has to be good enough. 

It is so tempting this time of year to look at all we've missed or stumbled upon in the past year, and vow to be better, do better, strive harder, etc. Certainly, there are plenty of places in my life where I need to  do that. There are other places too, though, where I need to bask more in the joy of the creation. 

I hope your new year is full of promise, hope, vision  and resolution . . . and also, celebration; soaking in who you are and what you've done in the world. This year, celebrate you!

 Happy New Year. 

Image by kurt duschek from Pixabay 

The Face of Fifty-Five

I'm 55. It sounds foreign to my ears; I still feel like I'm in my 30s. Fifty-five. Wow.

When I was in my thirties, I couldn't imagine why women colored their hair, bleached their teeth, and got face lifts. Honestly, I was pretty judgmental about it. I also held some pretty strong judgments about people who claimed to be on a diet but never seemed to get thinner. Let's just say I've been humbled. We get our lessons one way or another! I don't do those things, but I am very tempted to "stop the clock." And yet, for me at least, I think other people who look their age are lovely. Why cover up those hard-earned signs of survival.

At New Year's I set out to be the best me I could be. I resolved to love with passion and live with forgiveness. One of the people I decided to love a lot more was me. As a result, I have been conscious of not using my mirror to be critical of myself but to see deeply. I have surprised myself at my willingness to accept my 55 year old face. Here it is, unmade up for your inspection:

One of my friends recently suggested that if I colored my hair, people would not guess my true age.  Anyway, she was truly being complementary so I decided not to mix it up with her about self-acceptance, why I've chosen this route, etc. She was just being sweet so I took it in and let the rest float away.

Wrinkles. Well, the beginnings of them anyway, on the edges of my face and around my eyes. There are lots of deep ones on my neck and chest.



Gray hair, as it turns out, is a little translucent. My hair is a lot thinner now too.

I'm more than 2 years shampoo-free now and will never go back to all the chemicals on my hair. While my skin allergy is still in evidence, it is leagues better since giving up shampoo. It also really simplifies travel.

The next close up shows both the allergy and the spritely gray eyebrows.

 I've discovered my allergy is sugar-related, no matter what my dermatologist says. I've cut way back on refined carbs to try to affect a cure.

I first got glasses and bi-focals in my forties. "No-line" tri-focals are my secret to stress-free seeing now. I like myself better in glasses now. It brings my deepset eyes forward.





So this is it. The face of 55. My dear daughter took these pictures and I think looking so closely at middle-age gave her a bit of discomfort.

So she applied my make-up and took an "after" picture.

If I'm in middle age now, I guess I have another 5 decades of changes to record. Let's see if I stay brave!